You Take the Two in the Front….

Looking at some of my posts over the last few weeks, I am starting to wonder when this blog became almost as much “Story Time from Tony” as it is about cycling. But then I think, “Well, it’s my blog so I get to pick the topics, people keep coming back to read it, so I must be doing something right!”
So, with this lead in you are correct if you are thinking, “Here comes another story!”
Thing is, this one hit me while taking my lunch walk today at work. No idea where it came from, but it made me smile, so I thought I’d share. It’s also one of the rare College years stories that doesn’t involve the “guys”. Shoot, this could be one they’ve never heard.
This one revolved around my high school buddy Bill and cruising around on our mopeds. This was the summer of 83, and mopeds were a huge mode of transportation at WSU, and I had just gotten mine. Bill did as well, and without talking to each other, we both ended up with yellow Yamaha Townies.


Now a moped is NOT the most manly vehicle (by the way I named mine Judy, no idea why, just seemed to fit.) Now add to skinny dweeby looking guys (he was dweebier) and put them on matching mopeds, and it was trouble waiting to happen (insert foreshadowing music here)
Now Bill was in a BAD mood, and it was mostly my fault. Earlier, we had buzzed over to the house of a girl he was working hard to date. We got there, and she wasn’t home from work yet, but her mom let us in to sit and wait. So there we were, Bill, the mom and I, and somehow, I really have no idea how, the subject turned to music.
The mom started going off on this band she had heard of, AC/DC “Which you two boys KNOW means Anit-Christ/Devil Cult and that music will NEVER be played in this house. My girls know better!”
An aside here: I was raised to be very polite to adults, my mom and dad did a good job. PLUS, Bill was trying to date this ladies daughter. So I had planned to be on my best behavior. Yes and no maams, no burping or farting, and watching my language. However, pompous and overly self-righteous people annoyed me then as much as they do now. and I LIKED AC/DC. So I bit my tongue and just sorta tuned her out

Tuning her out worked until, from waaaay down the hallway, I heard music. Listening harder, I recognized “Back in Black”!! I promise you, I struggled, and tried NOT to say anything, but suddenly I heard myself saying “Ma’am, beggin your pardon (yep said it just like that) but I am pretty darn sure if you listen closely that music we are hearing IS AC/DC!”
Bill shot me daggers, the mom took off like the devil stuck her with a trident and flew down the hall! I wanted to sit and watch what happened, but Bill made us leave! (he never did date the girl!)
We cruised to his house, and we saw his kid sis Bebe (yep really, Bill and Bebe) talking to 4 guys in a car. They were drinking beer, and pretty sloshed (we heard them slurring and being loud). Well these guys had been around before, and given Bill a bad time about his moped. As they left, one of them yelled something out the window I didn’t catch, but Bill did. Next thing I hear is Bill yelling, “Come back and fight you pansies!” (He didn’t say pansy!)
It was my turn to shoot daggers. I was 5’ 7” and 135 at the time, Bill was 6 ft, but didn’t weigh much more, AND we were outnumbered. Add to it I hadn’t won a fight since the sandbox when I was 3. And he is calling them out??? The brake lights came on, and they started backing toward us. I shucked my coat and said “You take the 2 in the front, the 2 in the back are mine!” (I will say it sounded cool at the time, PLUS my theory was the 2 in back might be drunker, so I had a better chance…)
Well kid sis Bebe ran up to the car and talked them out of the fight (No arguments here!) and we went in to mooch food from mom and play Atari (told you we were dweebs!) but 30 seconds earlier, my plan was to go down fighting!
Looking back, had I just let Miss Holier than Thou spout and ignore her, none of this would’ve happened. But, I just couldn’t do it. I’ve tempered some since then, but I still have been known to “poke the bear” just to get a rise out of people! (Especially if they are pompous!)
I’ve been pondering while writing this, and I honestly can’t remember hanging out with Bill after that. It was almost time for me to go back to WSU, and we just sorta grew apart. Kinda makes me wonder if he ever thinks about this night. The part I am most proud of, in all honesty, was the thought of cutting and running never hit my head. Bill was damn fool to do this, but no way I was leaving him there 4 against 1! Just lucky for both of us Bebe was cute, and saved our bacon!

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