Its just a matter of time.

You know, there are some people in this world who think I am fearless.  Over the years I have done many things others wouldn’t even think of.  I’ve climbed mountains, gone bungee jumping, ridden 200 miles in a day and gone sky diving.

sky divingNo challenge over the years has seem to be too big, nor has my fear kept me from trying new things.  I can’t say I’ve never been scared, but I never let fear stop me.

Flying in 7

But ladies and gents, there are 2 things that scare the hell out of me.

I started thinking about this when my buddy Jim sent me this for the blog.



I LOVE this!  I’ve seen it before, but not since I have started 10,000 miles.  Folks, I an deathly afraid of becoming fat and out of shape! Its the reason I ride. I am 5′ 7″ (yeah NOT a tall man) and as of weigh in this morning about 150.5 pounds.  Now that aint bad, but I’d prefer 10 lbs lighter.   I ride to try and keep the fat in check!

As I get closer to the half century mark, its harder to shed pounds and more and more things seem to stop working the way they used to.  Case in point, I need the Bartells reading glasses to see the menu in a dark restaurant. (otherwise I risk setting the place on fire getting the menu too close to the candles)  If I allow myself to eat what I want (PIZZA! Burgers, PASTA!) at every meal, things would not only stop working, I’d be unable to see my toes due to my belly!

Thing is, it would be SO easy to do, I have to fight every week to eat well and NOT eat till I burst.  It sucks when you crave food yet fear the consequences.  So far fear is winning, so I have continued to eat relatively well.  But I am NOT happy being in the 150s.

Even scarier though, is getting old. Inside, I still feel like a college kid.  But when I look in the mirror I am FAR from it.  In November I hit my 50s.  In essence, its the last decade you can even pretend you are young.  Soon AARP letters will arrive, instead of “Meet sexy singles” spam, I will get Geritol adds, and people might start telling me “Are you sure you should ride, your bones may not take a crash.”

When I was in my 20’s I was bullet proof.  Nothing could stop me.  Now I hear old man noises coming out of my mouth whenever I wake up.  The joints pop, muscles ache and it take longer and longer to recover from workouts and injuries.

I can fight the battle of the tummy bulge, but nuthin stops time. Someday I am truly afraid that I will someday look in the he mirror and see an older fatter grayer and balder guy looking back.  Worse, the bike would be in the shed covered in dust and 2 flat tires.

So, ladies and gents, I am NOT fearless.  I will do my damnedest to hold off both the girth and the age. But truthfully its just a matter of time.


4 thoughts on “Its just a matter of time.

  1. Hey Tony! I like this post, but I think that fearlessness is not necessarily absence of fear. It’s not about being completely unafraid all the time. To me, being fearless is about having doubts, but continuing to pursue joy and happiness in spite of those things. The fact that you can confront and share your fears makes you fearless!

  2. I think you are doing a hell of a lot better than many other people out there who don’t even ride anymore or ever try anything new. The people who tell you those mean things about breaking bones will probably be the jealous ones who never did anything exciting even in their 20’s. Don’t despair! Love the car vs bike image!

    1. Oh trust me, I look at the other 50 year olds in the office, and very few of them can take a flight of stairs let alone ride 100 miles in a day. I plan to be drug kicking and biting into old age and the rocking chair!

      Thanks for the encouragement!

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