Talented Toes

Earlier this week, one of my co-workers made her first visit back to the office after having a baby.  He was cutie!  Head full of hair, wide-eyed, too young yet to smile.  He was also barefoot (which I encourage when its this warm outside) so I was able to notice his toes.

You could just tell by looking at them (long, limber) that when this kid gets bigger he will be able to do many things with these toes!  I made the mistake of mentioning that….

A little background first.  I have very versatile toes that allow me to do many things.


I can pick things up off the floor, pinch things, interlock them with my fingers while sitting and (yep done this) can even type and hit enter with them (the last has only been a couple of times and slow, but with my normal typos who would notice any mistakes??)

When the kids were babies, lying changed on the changing table, I could pick up a dropped item without having to bend over and let go of them.  When carrying them, if they threw the binkie (pacifier) it was much easier to grab with toes then bend down.

Nowadays sore legs after 200 miles in the saddle?  Who wants to stoop down.  Toe pick ups are MUCH easier!

Now growing up, I just assumed everyone could do this!  It was as natural as breathing.  It wasn’t till I got to college that I learned this was NOT the case.  My freshman year, my buddy Steve demonstrated he could not only pick up the receiver of a phone (yes once upon a time, phones had receivers, hence the phrases “Pick up the phone” and “Hang up the phone”) he could also dial numbers!

I was impressed!  The girls thought it was creepy!!

Fast forward to present day, Michelle now refers to my extra helpers as Creepy toes (as in “Keep your creepy toes away from me!”). They earned this name  after I pinched her leg with them!

So, given all this, you would think that I would have learned and NOT been surprised by the conversation that started after I noticed the baby’s toes.

I of course said “Oh cool!  Check those toes out!  He will have extra hands and will be able to pick stuff up!”

The ladies were NOT as thrilled.

His mom said “Yeah!  Just like his dad does!  That is gross!”  And, almost to a person, everyone agreed with her! Empahtically agreed with details of their spouses dexteriy with toes.   Except for the one lady who also has talented toes.  When I explained Michelle’s feeling toward mine, she laughed and said “My husband feels the same about mine!”

It makes me wonder if this has happened throughout the evolution of man from early primates.  Clearly the talented toes are signs of advanced evolution.  When the first early man climbed out of the trees, did his wife make fun of him?  When the first woman wasn’t covered in fur, did her hubby keep her hidden in shame?

I feel like I need to start a movement.  Talented Toe People of America!  TTPA!  An organiztion to help those of us reach our toe potential!

Or, I could just keep creeping out Michelle now and then!

How many of you have functional VS decorative toes?

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