It happens every year, about this same time. The evilness invades the office….
It starts sneaking up around Halloween, when there are bowls full of candy all over just prior to the big night, and then overflowing the day after. All that candy that wasn’t handed out has to go somewhere, and it ends up at work.
But then, sometime after Thanksgiving and before the Holly Jolly Holiday, the ultimate example of the darkside appears, sometimes, like today, out of the blue. Yes, you all know of what I speak, the Office Holiday Pot Luck!! <shiver>
I say sneak up on you, because today mine actually did. I had NO clue it was happening. And by no clue I mean not only did I not know it was today, I didn’t know there was one coming up at all! Evidently, around my birthday last month, an email came out inviting everyone to it. Being in Spokane and teaching that day, I might have seen it, but the class was busy that day so I honestly have no memory of it.
Add to it, after a month of restaurants, I had deemed today the start of eating normally again. Oatmeal with banana for breakfast, hard-boiled egg for snack and salad (home-made by my gorgeous wife) for lunch. This was the plan!
So, this morning, while eating the aformentioned oatmeal and banana, when a person in my division came up to me to discuss the deviled eggs she brought for the shindig (and how they smelled up her car), I had no clue it was a gathering for us all. Now, of course, I didn’t ask, but if you check with my wife she will tell you that I suck at asking the important questions sometimes.
So, during our weekly standup meeting, I was informed that it was happening. Damn! OK what to do what to do…
One option was to run to REI and grab a couple of tins of Altoids. Laugh if you will, but I have done this before and they are a big hit after a potluck Especially with smelly deviled eggs. Post potluck meetings are much nicer with fresher breath!
Option two was to flat skip it. Luckily I am known as being anti-social.
I should clarify. I am the first to help out whenever anyone needs it, and I am happy to talk to anyone that sits or walks near me. However, the whole gathering together to sit and chat for an hour at least has NO draw for me at all. It surprises people when I say I am antisocial, mainly becasue I am very loud and energetic, but it is true.
I of course made the obvious choice! Skipped it I did! Had my salad for lunch, and went for the lunchtime walk. I even got Michelle a second round at Starbucks. Whew! Dodged the bullet. I am looking tubby enough lately without a bunch of stuff bad for me at lunch. If you aren’t there, you can’t partake. I was safe…
Or so I thought! Evil does NOT give up that easily. There I was, minding my own business when some demonic minion brought the deserts upstairs to my floor!
The worst part? There was stuff I liked! Cupcakes and pink frosted cookies are second and third (not in that order!) after brownies!!! BASTARDS!!! And obviously I was tempted, as I went down to see the spread!! It was hard. DAMN hard! But I walked away with only a satsuma! WHEW!!! I survived!
Editors note: The evilness does NOT apply to either mom or wife made food. Part of the holiday magic is that anything made by these 2 has no calories at all during the month of December. Nope can’t explain it, but it is true, it must be magic!
It was a very close thing, but I survived! And if the bicycle gods are smiling, that will be the last of the work events and I won’t have to come up with an excuse in the future!