A Free Pitcher of Beer

Back when we were in college, and in the years immediately following, one of the best things that could happen to us was to somehow come into possession of a free pitcher of beer.  Since back then we drank Strohs, Bud Lite and the occasional Henry’s, we were not all that picky.  As we knew, any free beer is good beer!

Of all the free beer though, the most legendary was the night of THE Kiss.

Early in the 90s, Scott Dave and I

image(and our long-lost buddy Rob) lived in the south end, and would regularly go out to have a few beers and throw some darts.

This was back in the day that soft tip darts and electronic dart boards were just becoming popular in bars.  (Well at least here in the Northwest.)  I had been introduced to them while hanging out at Cheers West in Tacoma, and I in turn introduced them to the guys.

We had a pretty successful team, the 4 of us, and went to the state tournament twice.  We ended up playing in some pretty damn scary bars, and met some seriously sketchy people, but we always had a blast.

On this night though, we were just out for fun, at a bar down in Auburn.  A rednecky kinda place in general, but close to all three of our homes at the time.

We had been there a while, being a bit loud, as four 20 something guys drinking beer are apt to be, and were changing up the teams each game.

Editors note:  There is a little known scientific correlation between beer and dart throwing.  At least for me.  If I am stone cold sober, I suck.  I am barely able to hit the board itself, let alone the number on the board I am needing.  Mix it with the right amount of beer though, and I can be unstoppable.  OVER that amount, well it just aint that pretty, people have been wounded…

Well this night, I was NOT having my best rounds.  But, finally, in a game where I was teamed up with Rob Dartbutt (cuz the man saved our butts in league nights more than any other of us) Wilder, we were doing well.  But then Dave stepped up to the line.

What the man shot is lost in the annals of time, but suffice it to say he hit everything he needed and was pumped!

He shouted, “Did you see that Scott??” and started prancing at him with his lips puckered. And Scott headed to him doing the same.

Editors note 2:  FYI these two are very heterosexual men.  Dave had always been the one playing the field looking for missus right (happy to report he succeeded, we love his wife), while Scott was married.  Why these do did this is still a mystery but when I say they pranced, it was with a capital P..

Folks, it was like a slow motion game of chicken gone bad.  These two moved toward each other, each confident the other would veer off, both afraid the other wouldn’t, but both too stubborn to be the one to do so.  There was only one outcome to something like this.  Yes, that night the “Menfriends” were named, much to their embarrassment.

The best was still to come though….

JUST prior to this happening, two couples had come over and sat at the table near us.  They were going to throw darts on the other board.  One of them had a pitcher of beer, but they hadn’t gotten around to pouring it yet.

The kiss occurred, Rob and I were laughing, those two were sputtering, and then I noticed these 4 whispering to each other quite loudly!  (Remember I said it was a  red neckish kinda town…and this was the EARLY 90s)

“Did you see that??”  “Those two guys kissed!”  “Right in front of us in a bar??”  “We are NOT staying here…”

Now for a split second I considered stopping them and telling them what happened, but then I decided if they wanted to be asses, let them go.  I watched them pick up their coats and damn near run to the door.  I then walked over, grabbed a full pitcher of beer, (the guys were looking at me stingily)  and four fresh glasses, and poured us another round! They laughed their asses off when I told them what happened!

Everytime we get together, this story comes up.  Turns out Dave’s wife of MANY years heard it for the first time at the group breakfast on Saturday.  I laughed so hard re telling  it I decided then and there it was needed on here.

Now if I could JUST get them to reenact that at an expensive winery…


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