Not my best ride ever

Have y’all gotten tired of my whining about the heat yet?  if so, then I am sorry for at least one more.  We are about to hit the 6th day of 90 degree heat (a first ever for us) and at 92 degrees, yesterday was the hottest Independence Day in 124 years!

Given all this, but still needing to ride, our hero was out of bed at 445 and on the road at 5 AM to beat the heat…My plan this week was follow the 7 Hills of Kirkland route that I rode back in May (See Nuthin to Prove  ).  I was going to follow the Metric Century route using the Dan Henrys that were left over from the ride.

Generic Dan Henrey's
Generic Dan Henrey’s

More than once I have followed left over markings for some great rides.  Unless these are laid down on a rainy day, these are relatively permanent and usually provide great rides.  I was figuring I’d be long done before it got too hot.

The ride started well.  I was on the Burke Gilman and cranked out the first 2 climbs without any problem at all.  I was starting to get a per paranoid though, as at every turn I say another King County Sheriff’s vehicle.  I was really hoping they weren’t looking for a silver bike being ridden by an old fart with a blue helmet


After a 39 MPH downhill bomb, I hung a right and headed into Woodinville.  Suddenly, (and not to share too much here) my innards let me know I needed to find a restroom NOW!

Editors Note:  Folks, you never know when this will hit, at least I don’t. So on my rides I make note of all parks, construction site honey buckets and, last resort, fast food joints with easy access to the restrooms   

Luckily, I was close to a park I knew of on the Burke Gilman Trail. I took a hard left, rode into the park and rolled my bike into the restroom with me (this way I don’t have to lock it up). Just in the nick of time if I do say so! (Does the phrase prairie dogging mean anything to you?)

So, as I was sitting there, I heard voices outside, and it hit me they were lady’s voices. Suddenly I had this scary thought: I honestly don’t remember seeing the sign when I walked in.  Yep, there was a distinct possibility I was in the ladies room…

Well, there are just sometimes you can’t do anything about an issue, and this was one of them!

When I walked outside, I glanced over and sure as hell, I had gone in the lady’s room.  And, of course,  there was no one to be seen when I got there, when I walked out, there were 3 or 4 ladies milling around, stretching after a run.

Folks, over the years I have learned there are 2 ways to handle very embarrassing situations:

  1. You can drop your head and try to quietly sneak away, or
  2. Own it loud and proud!

I’ve NEVER been known as a quiet person, so I have always found number 2 to be my best choice.  This was no exception.

I looked right at them and said, “DAMN!  I did go in the wrong one!!”

When they smiled, I added “I am SO glad y’all did NOT come in there!”

One of the giggled, and said, “I would have probably screamed if I did!”

As I saddled up, I laughed and said “YOU?  I KNOW I woulda screamed if you had!  Have a great day!” And then beat a fast retreat!

Editors note:  I checked when I got home, and there were no tweets about a pervert on the Burke Gilman this morning, so I think I am ok!

Soon I was back on the route and climbing winery hill.  I have to admit, I was a bit bummed NOT to see the bagpiper that was there the last time I was there.



I made it to the top, and relaxed as I rolled down the hill.  I was enjoying the descent and the sun coming up, and very much liking the first ‘chilly’ weather I’ve felt in weeks.  However, once again, I had a weird feeling.  No, this time it wasn’t time for the restroom.  Suddenly I realized I was off the route!

Yep, sure as hell, I could not remember when the last time was I had seen a Dan Henry.  And looking around, not a damn thing looked familiar!

In my defense, I have only done this ride once, and if I remember correctly it wasn’t the BEST marked route.  But still, I missed a turn some where.

So I circled a bit in Totem Lake (never been there before) trying to find the route but no dice.  Decision time.  It was warming up pretty quick, I would have had a long climb trying to find the correct turn.  So I called upon my mountain skills and my undying sense of direction, and headed west toward home!

OK OK.  Those who know me know that in the city, I have NO sense of direction (I am great IN the mountains) and simply put I had NO idea where the hell I was.  I had to ask Siri…

So lets recap the day:

  1. Used the ladies room by mistake
  2. Lost the route
  3. Had to ask Siri….

Nope, NOT my best cycling day ever.

But, thanks to the electronic lady of the iPhone, I found myself at the bottom of one of the steepest hills of the route.

After two more long hard climbs, and some great descents, I was back at the car.  35 miles total, and, more importantly, some good hill training!

I will do this one again and try to figure out what I did wrong (route wise NOT restroom).  But next week I need one more 100 miles ride before tapering down before RAMROD!  Next week I will do a route I know!

10 thoughts on “Not my best ride ever

  1. “You should not be let out of the house by yourself.” That *so* perfectly sums up this post! Thanks for being you, Tony. This would be such an ordinary post had you not used the ladies room, lost your route, and conversed with Siri. What a hoot!

      1. Oh, what a lucky lady! I wasn’t sure how I would feel about someone being able to track me. But, hell, if there’s an iced tea waiting on the other end of a long run, then I’d totally be game! 🙂

      2. She also keeps track of the bike ride home, and uses it to start dinner when she is home first! Cold winter rides and hot pasta YUM! she can track me any day!

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